Chk a chk a christmas

Alright, that’s bloody over. We all had a good time and many more of us are getting completely jang house on Boxing Day. I got plenty of good presents and and not a lot of clothes that will go straight to the bottom of my clothes draw. One of the finest additions to my arsenal of greatness was champagne marmite,  yes champagne marmite. I know many people aren’t fans of marmite and I say “Pah, Philistines”. It tricks me into thinking I’m having something majorly savoury for breakfast and not a bowl of drab cereal.

Marmite: Food of Champions

Paddington Bear even swapped his marmalade sandwiches for marmite ones. Some of you say this is because marmite paid the daughter of the writer to have Paddington to appear in adverts . Truth is marmalade made him look like a pussy and he was getting shit down Westbourne Grove. Since he changed sandwiches, mother fuckers don’t mess with him. There is also a Guinness marmite which is next on my consumption list.

Paddington will now jack your ass

In the next couple of days this blog will be cleaned up a bit as more people are reading it and even the shit blogs have better header pictures and colour schemes. Getting queer eye for the straight guy over to clean this shit up.

One for the money, two for the show.  Check back soon.

Merry Xmas

I will be doing my last bits of Christmas shopping and then getting messed up after. This means that I won’t be on the Internet. I will therefore just put up some christmassy videos for everyone to get in the mood.

Pogues and Kirsty

The Vandals

East 17

Don’t go on the internet this xmas day. Well, you probably will if you get shit presents, but try not to. Help you’re eyes out. Merry fucking xmas peasants.

West London Ink

I have been watching shit loads of Miami Ink. It’s a show about a couple of lovable ass holes tattooing people who have lost their cousins in gang wars, lost their parents and just the average schmuck who wants a dolphin, star or musical note. London Ink isn’t as good because it doesn’t have a daft tart like Kat Von D barking shit around about how she is the queen of tattoos.

What does the D stand for in Kat Von D?

In Philadelphia, everyone has tattoos, so I felt left out. However, I feel like if I got one, it would probably be something stupid and regrettable. I think I’ll wait a bit as the front runner is getting Lindsay Lohan on my right bum cheek. I did, however, find the greatest tattoo ever today and if I get no good ideas, i’ll just get this.

This is commonly known as a gangster situation

Sunday Sleep Time

Night Nurse

On Sundays I have a particularly bad problem with sleep and usually just lie awake till about 4am. It’s not excitement about the commencement of the new week and it’s not that my body clock is out of synch because of getting completely obliterated over the weekend.

I lay in bed now knowing I have to go to the library and study agent based computing and belief revision. This is not playing on my mind, so what is doing this?

The Maughan Library is very exciting, but not that exciting

I have tried listening to soft music and have tuned into Chill FM, though I had to sit through some eerie voodooesque music, which was a bit unnerving. It’s the kind of music you’ll hear when backpacking in Thailand whilst you’re telling a really irritating Australian girl to shut up. However, on a Sunday night in West London, it just makes you fear life.

Could anyone inform me of any cures that are not drink or drug related. Answers on a postcode.

Things to do for Xmas

1. Bookmark this page
2. Check the new page 2008: a crunch in review – link is on the right of this page.
3. Buy me a drink
4. Not think I’m a retard for mistyping tags for posts. I do this so the idiots who can’t spell end up getting redirected to these pages of shit.
5. Come to my party in June or put it in your diary
   

Tranny Central

Just my luck

It’s now the third time I’ve had a run in with a transvestite. The first occasion, one tried to punch me in the ribs, the second was in Istanbul where I was slapped in the face and finally, Thursday night in Soho one tried to spit in my face.

I’m still trying to work out why this has happend to me because on all occasions I haven’t done anything to provoke the attacks.It has been suggested I’m probably staring at them in an odd way. Maybe I should actually start wearing my glasses a lot more as I’m probably squinting and the things are taking it the wrong way.

Boxing 2009

Hopefully 2009 will prove to be a good year for boxing. Everyone keeps banging on about UFC, but I don’t like watching men roll around on the ground, slapping each others asses. For those in the States, keep a look out for David Haye. He’s big here, but he’s not had a lot of exposure on your side of the pond. Here’s the ring entrance of Monte Barrett who went on to get sparko’d by Haye.

He also gets offended by ugly ring card girls because the last thing he wants to see after taking some fuck off blows to the skull is some butterz girl strolling in front of him.

Rock n Rolla

Bare people hate this film, but I thought it was heavy. It’s meant to be a trilogy, so if more people watch it then maybe Guy Ritchie will stop making dry films and get on with more of these installments.

West is Best

I say that, but the event I’m advertising could be shit. I’m going anyway as it might be good fun. Come along and buy me a beer.

Presents

Camera

I got a camera for my birthday. It not only takes crisp pictures, but it can catch people on film too. Combined with a you tube account, this means I can catch bitches on video and post them for the world to see. This is horrid karaoke. Gahn Shat in chi chi man skull.

B-more B-more B-more Ho!

As there’s a lot of you reading this as Raul  says, “page of shit” in the States, I thought I would give you a heads up about some jang house event next week. Get to Baltimore on Tuesday and you’re have a sick time. If you’re well rich then pay for me to party with you.

MTV Cribs

Did you ever see the episode with Tyrese in? Tyrese is a fucking cretin.He has a picture of Malcolm X baptising Tupac on his wall. No one believes me about the episode, so here’s the picture.

Tyrese confirms he is just a pretty face

Finally getting the Christmas spirit

You know its Christmas when

I love everything about this film

National Lampoon’s Christmas Vacation is heavy. Its the best Christmas film ever made and I sit there like a fat and happy kid when it’s on. Change the channel and I’ll kick you in the face.

Coca Cola Advert

Raggo, this is standard and shouldn’t even have to be mentioned. Why they replaced it with that fucking animated paedophile Father Christmas is beyond me.

Christmas Crush

I have a crush on American celebrity chef, Rachel Ray. She loves putting sexual innuendos in her cooking shows and I love looking at her butt (using the word butt is me being American).

Cooking can be fun

What’s on in London

Go here.

Final touches

I’ve learnt most of the Cat Power songs on the piano for Xmas and a few by Kate Nash. Hers are bare easy. I have never really liked Kate Nash but have found myself tapping my foot to some of her songs. Now man has got to go Westfield and get presents.

I'm not religous, but god help me

Favourite song of the moment

Apart from Lindsay Lohan’s revenge

The Sport of Champions

I remember seeing this stupidity a couple of months ago, but my thoughts of it only resurfaced recently. Its called Flybar and manages to allow you to fit the words pogo stick and extreme in the same sentence.

Club 18-30

I know what I'm doing for my summer holiday

Restmas and Hanukkah

Another few views

I gave myself a challenge to get more hits than my Spanish pal, Raul’s music website. I think this can be achieved and he doesn’t, so I looked through my Arsenal and found the best picture I’ve ever taken. It’s of my friend when we took a ferry from Andros to Mykonos.

The Horror

He had been burnt by the Sun and thought he looked good for the ladies. A couple of days later he burnt himself again. Then he burst all the blood vessels underneath his eyes when he threw up on island of Santorini and then proceeded to get chased by a dog. Roll up ladies, a date can be arranged any day of the week.

Monday Freeday

The Siegfrid Sassoon are playing on Monday for free at 93 Feet East. They are Indie chumps, but I must say that they are pretty good. We always beat them in football. Here is a video of their singer off his nut at Les Savy Fav in the Summer.

You can listen to the Chertsey boys Heeeerrrrreee! .

Rihanna ft Justin

I was watching Rihanna’s new song ‘rehab’ featuring every girls favourite, Justin Timberlake. However, I had a real difficulty how JT managed to wangle himself into a position where he’s classed as a contributing artist for this song. He does fuck all! Well, that’s a lie, if you fast forward to 3:33 in the song, his contribution. Most of the videos has embedding disabled, so you’ll have to go youtube yourself.

I think it was “uhh uhh now give me that, uh give me that”. I want to be as big as Justin so I can get away with saying shit like that in songs and picking up a hefty pay cheque at the same time. We salute you Justin.

Ears to the ground

Today: Caught in the Crossfire Xmas jam and after party – email for guest list

Tomorrow: Mummy says I’m special @ The New Cross Inn *Free

Monday: The Siegfried Sassoon @ 93 Feet East *Free